you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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