plz talk dirty to me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
