he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
