so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
