New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
