Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
