oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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