whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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