omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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