margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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