just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
