Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
