she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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