I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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