I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
