So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
