I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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