My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
