Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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