You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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