Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
They took my balls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
