White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
