im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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