It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
