He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
