pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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