I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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