Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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