Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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