420 ftw
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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