I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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