Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
