She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
