I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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