I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
