The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
