One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Life is so much better after having sex.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
