Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
