so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
