dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
