she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
