Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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