I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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