i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
