Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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