Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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