like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
