I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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