What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
