Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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