Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Do vagina's smell?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
