I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
